August 16, 2007

home.

it's 7 am, and i've been awake since 5. helen woke up early to take the kitten's "feral" mama to the vet clinic to get her spayed. franny pants, as we've begun to call her, has been hanging out on our porch for over a week now. she is wild, but she is friendly. she rubs her body against our legs when we sit on the porch, and sleeps on our welcome mat.

on the porch now, the rain is falling faster and faster. the morning is dark and thick, but here comes the wind. the tip of tropical storm erin is touching our town right now, and she's inching along with buckets of rain. i doubt we'll see the sun today.

i am so very happy to be home. erie was a blessing, a hard blessing. the passing of mh brought together my whole family for the first time in over 5 years. i sat with all my sisters at mh's funeral. i kissed my nieces and nephew, and took lots of photos. i'm still decompressing; i don't have a lot of words. they will come. there is no hurry.

i suppose i am still in a state of disbelief that mh could have died. she was going to outlive us all. the rain is falling harder now, washing away the exhaustion of grief. i barely feel it, but i know what i'm saying is true. sorrow and weeping for a night, and joy in the morning. it's morning. it's raining. we're living.

jean, my cousin tom's wife, committed a lot of time and energy to scanning photo after photo of mh's life. my mother and i dug through old boxes to find them. here are a few of my favorites:

circa 1919.
1919-ish.

first communion.
her first communion --she always remembered the fragrance of the flowers and the color and fabric of the dress.

generations of cat ladies: great grandmother, grandmother, and aunt mh.
my great grandmother, grandmother, and mh. generations of cat ladies.

"pedaling my ass up and down the street"
she said that she was pedaling her ass up and down the street.

her 90th birthday party.
june 2007, her 90th birthday party. have you ever seen a 90 year old so vibrant?

Posted by bananie at August 16, 2007 6:21 AM |
Comments

wonderful pics! wonderful memories!

Posted by: chris Liu at August 16, 2007 8:51 AM

i'm so sorry for your loss anne.

Posted by: kristin at August 16, 2007 4:17 PM
Post a comment